Saturday, October 1, 2011

Waking Dreams

It's almost 7 am, and I haven't slept since I woke up yesterday at 8. That's almost 24 hours!

It's just that my brain wouldn't shut up over the night. I shut off my laptop, lay down, closed my eyes, but my mind just kept thinking, and I couldn't make it stop. Even my usual therapy, which is reading a book, failed me.

I guess it started out with some hypochondriac thoughts because my side was sore and my tummy hurt, so I just kept thinking and thinking of all the possible diseases I could have with these symptoms. That led to paranoia, like what if my older brother had another seizure, or my younger brother fell of his bed or what if my parents just stopped breathing? And I ended up crying a bit at the thought of losing one of my family members, and I tried to shake the negativity off by going online, but it just stayed there, so I made a quick trip to my parents room. They always make me feel better.

After waking my parents up in the wee hours of the morning, making sure they were okay, and hearing their reassuring voices, I went back to my room thinking, finally, I could sleep.

So I lay down and cuddled under my blanket, but then I started thinking about the future. And then I knew, I was playing a losing game. All my biggest dreams just unfolded in cinematic sequences in my mind. They were so compelling, I wouldn't have stopped even if I were able to.

And now I'm here. I figured, the most sensible thing to do would be to take advantage of my insomnia and write all my future plans down so I don't forget. A list is the best I can do on no sleep, so here it is, my tentative, working list of things I want to do with my life, a.k.a my New Bucket List:

Holi colors!!
  • Earn a Master's degree  in International Studies from U.P
  • Earn a Master's degree in Literature/Film/Theater/Cultural Studies from a reputable UK University
  • Pose as a model for a nude drawing class
  • Teach
  • Be a lifestyle/ pop culture columnist for a major magazine or broadsheet
  • Be a great writer
  • Master Spanish, French, Bisaya, and Hawaiian or Chinese
  • Get a tattoo. Or several
  • Grow my hair waist long, then cut it and donate to locks of love.
The Beatles
  • Rock a Beatle haircut
  • Travel everywhere (specific travel-related must-dos are listed below)
  • Experience Holi (with Cara as promised)
  • Attend an Indian wedding
  • Ride and befriend an elephant
  • Meet a Geisha
  • Experience Oktoberfest (with Dindin, Krista, and Carms, as promised)
  • Smoke pot in Amsterdam
  • Watch the 2014 World Cup in Brazil
  • Visit Stratford-upon-Avon
  • Go to Liverpool, the Beatles Museum
  • Take the customary tourist shots at the Great Wall of China, the Pyramids of Egypt, the Eiffel Tower, the Alhambra, the Cristo Redentor, the leaning tower of Pisa, the Taj Mahal, etc, etc
  • Whisper prayers at the Notre Dame
  • Ride a donkey on the Machu Picchu
  • Go on an African Safari
  • Flirt with Spanish men in Spain (this should be very fun)
  • Hitchhike or explore a new place with a total stranger
Elephants in Africa

  • Sing and dance and lose self at the Glastonbury Festival
  • Have an epiphany at Burning Man 
  • Spend a night at a train station
  • etc, etc, too many travel things to do!
  • Publish a book of travel essays
  • Live in New York, even for just a year
  • Hug an orangutan
  • See a real live white tiger
  • Learn more about Africa firsthand -- surely there's more to it than Safaris and jungles
  • Have a real shopping spree
  • Join a feeding program, feed hungry kids
  • Be part of a pride march
  • Attend a gay wedding
  • Bring down a human trafficking business through covert operation
  • Be a detective even for a day
  • Take the foreign service exam (if passed, join the foreign service)
  • Ride a Vespa, preferably in Italy
  • Learn to surf. Again.
  • Learn to love my body, one way or another
  • join a nudist colony, even just for a day
The Beauty and the Beast library. Peg!
  • Be stocked in a library
  • Open a public library/ cafe where anyone can borrow books and read them on cozy couches while sipping coffee
  • Open a drive-in cinema
  • Make at least one legit documentary film, however short
  • Star in a play, at least one more time
  • Meet a president --- whoever's president at that time
  • Take care of my parents and make sure they are happy when they're old already
  • Make my family proud
See, the list actually goes further than this, but I thought "make my family proud" would be a good place to stop...for now. This is what I mean, my mind just keeps going, and I could've kept typing, but I'm slowly losing fuel and my eyes are giving out. I'm just going to add a few photos and finally, I really think this is it, I can sleep now.

1 comment:

  1. I love everything about this post, see what an insomnia can make you do! But I love the selections that you listed on the things you wanted to accomplish, makes me wonder about mine. I hope you will be able to work on everythin on the list! Here's wishing you success! -Mar
    -Not Your Ordinary Beauty Queen-
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