Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Not so New Year

New Year's is my favorite holiday, yes, even more than Christmas. I love how it's probably the one day in the year where entire cities are still wide awake and jumping around and making noise past midnight. I love the overload of colors and sounds. Most of all, I love how a blink, or a kiss, or the raise of a glass separates the past year from the new one, how a shower of colors in the sky makes everyone feel like a clean slate.

Photo by my dad, Elmo Lago
I have always been the type of person who puts a clear demarcation between the past year and the present, despite them really being only a split-second apart. I always loved to bid a nostalgic farewell to the previous year, looking back on it one last time before folding it up and tucking it away in the little box in my head. I always loved welcoming the New Year with a happy heart and open arms, faithfully writing resolutions, believing that the New Year holds some kind of magic to transform me into the kind of person that can carry these resolutions out.

This year, some of my resolutions included the following:

  • Lose weight (always listed, never accomplished) 
  • See as much of the world as I can
  • Blog more often 
  • Be less passive-aggressive 
  • Be more outgoing
  • Stop procrastinating
  • Be punctual
It's a good solid list, simple and realistic, something I believed my newer, better self could easily achieve. But the fact that I am writing this New Year's day entry 18 days late when I'm supposed to be working on an article for work has made me realize that the New Year's magic didn't rub off on me after all. 

No, actually, I realize now that this New Year's magic doesn't really exist. It's a harsh wake-up call for someone who thrived on the delusion for the better part of her life. But I guess it needs to be said. 

Just because the dates on the calendar are new doesn't mean you automatically become a new person yourself. 

Sometimes, change happens because you neglect things, sometimes it happens because you work towards it, sometimes it happens without you noticing but it certainly doesn't happen just because the clock struck 12 on January 1. 

Which means that if I want to fulfill my resolutions, I can't just wait around until it happens. I'm actually going to have to make it happen. I'm actually going to have to set my mind to it.

Which means that I'm going to have to end this right here and get back to my work.

Good morning, Happy New Year.

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